Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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