It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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