And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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