Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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