Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
