mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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