Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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