Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
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Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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