I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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