I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
