fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think my moral compass just broke
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
