I forgot how hot balto sounded
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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