So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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