Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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