good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
