So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
