Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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