your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
