I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
