Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
