why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
