He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
