I hate your face
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team