Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.