Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize