Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.