Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
