she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
