dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
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Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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