Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
