sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
