Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
