tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
