I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
