Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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