you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
