Jerry, you need to find god
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
