Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
