i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize