My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
