the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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