I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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