is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
