I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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