OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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