is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
