I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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