You can't special order awesome
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
