O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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