You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
