Christians are straight up FREAKS
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
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I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
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I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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