hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
