you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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