This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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