I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
