I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
