So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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