hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i believe in u and ur pee
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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