Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
