Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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