Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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