Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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