if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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