I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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