he puts the penis in happiness.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize